


Ferris wheels are romantic, right?

by TNKT



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Acrophobia, Carnival, Fear of Heights, Ferris Wheels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Poor Connor, Post-Canon, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), Soft Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Soft Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Whump, markus is a good boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:14:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24133426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TNKT/pseuds/TNKT
Summary: Sure, Ferris wheels are romantic... As long as your boyfriend doesn't have acrophobia.
Relationships: Connor/Markus (Detroit: Become Human)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 192





	Ferris wheels are romantic, right?

Markus, Connor, North, Josh and Simon were drifting along with the crowd that filled the fairground they'd just showed up at, trying to communicate aloud as best as they could over the sounds of laughter and screams of fear as the various rides that surrounded them swooped up and down in a concert of metallic noises and whooshes of air. It was starting to get late and some of the attractions had started lighting up as the sky cooled from vibrant pink to soft lavender. The sugary warm smell of cotton candy wafted around them and North was laughing at a joke Markus had made while Simon shook his head with a derisive smile. Connor was quiet, his shoulder gently bumping into Markus' from time to time as they walked close. It happened again and Markus glanced over at his boyfriend, and he was utterly powerless to stop a fond smile from tugging at the corners of his lips. Connor had his nose up in the air taking in the sight of the various contraptions all around them, the colors and movements and sounds and smells that he hadn't known were characteristic of carnivals until Josh had suggested they all came here to take a break from their duties. Connor was always very observant whenever he was shown new things and this was another instance of it. Markus liked that as distracted as Connor was, he always checked that Markus was still next to him with little touches that didn't even seem fully conscious.

North suddenly elbowed Markus in the side and then pointed at a ride. "Now _that_ looks killer."

Markus looked over in the direction she was pointing at and saw the pirate boats slicing though the air like giant halberds. It did look pretty fun.

"Let's maybe _not_ start with the ones that'll shake up all our thirium," Simon intervened.

"Agreed," said Josh. "North, we've got all evening. We can start it out slow."

" _Start it out slow?_ " echoed North indignantly. "We're at a carnival! Rides like that are the only interesting thing for us!"

"We've got cotton candy now," argued Josh. "And there's a lot of attractions we can do other than this one. Like the houses."

"I do want to start by a ride, just not something like that," said Simon.

Connor still hadn't said anything. Markus could tell he was only half-listening because his gaze was fixated on one of the taller attractions that was standing proudly in the middle of the fairground like the Eiffel Tower to Paris : the Ferris Wheel. Markus' gaze alternated between the huge lit-up circle in the distance and Connor's face at the same time as a suspicion hit him. Markus knew why couples usually tried this type of attraction out and he wasn't sure that Connor did as well. Was the look on his face fascination? It wasn't like a Ferris Wheel was that common a sight. Connor hadn't exactly been walking around in fun places before and if this was his first time seeing this kind of thing then it was bound to be impressive. 

The view would probably be beautiful from up there, what with the slow sunset and dreamy atmosphere the purple skies would offer them both as they sat alone on top of the world. Markus kind of wanted to give Connor that. It would be romantic. They'd get to hold hands and kiss on top of the Ferris Wheel with no one around to disturb them, and it would be really nice to do that while they were up in the clouds and the sounds would be so far below them and Detroit would spread out in every direction as the buildings would start to light up and so would the River, but most of all Markus would get to kiss Connor while they were just the two of them. His gaze drifted to Connor's wayward lock of hair that brushed against his forehead as a small breeze picked up the soft brown strands, and then down to Connor's nape, and rA9, Markus really wanted to kiss him. They hadn't kissed for _at least_ three hours. Getting on the Ferris Wheel would be the ideal setting to remediate to that problem. Yes, thought Markus with a mental nod of self-approval, this was going to be decidedly romantic of him. His mind made up, Markus turned to the group walking at his side and gestured to the giant wheel of shiny white metal and multicolored gondolas.

"Is anyone up for the Ferris Wheel? That looks fun enough for everyone to have a good time."

North scoffed. "You just want to kiss Connor."

" _No_. I mean, yes, of course I do, but that's not- I mean it's not _entirely_ the only reason why," lied Markus.

She rolled her eyes, unconvinced, and Simon laughed. 

"The Ferris Wheel sounds good to me," said Josh with an amused grin. 

Clearly no one had believed Markus' stuttering, clumsy attempt at denial. Connor hadn't really reacted to their exchange and Markus realized that whatever was going on with his boyfriend was probably more than simple awe. Was he seeing something none of them did? Markus gently nudged the other android and Connor finally turned to face them, his expression now unreadable.

"Did you hear what we said?" Markus asked him.

Connor frowned lightly, confused and replaying the conversation that had just taken place next to him but which he hadn't been paying attention to, and then he seemed to hesitate for a very small moment before nodding with a little smile. "I'm not opposed to getting a kiss from you."

"Ugh," groaned North. Markus didn't heed her blatant exasperation because the way Connor's lips had curled made his pump do backflips and he had to very consciously restrain himself from grabbing him and just kissing him right there in the middle of the crowd. Connor didn't really like public displays of affection.

"All right," decided Simon. "Ferris Wheel it is."

The group of five made their way to the center of the fairground and Markus noticed that now Connor wasn't staring at the wheel anymore. Rather, he kept throwing glances at it and then letting his gaze drop to the ground ahead of them, and Markus wondered why he was behaving that way. Connor looked more determined than excited or flustered. He found himself hoping that it was that Connor himself had a game plan of some sort once they were up there, and Markus ended up being the flustered one as soon as the thought appeared. Maybe Connor also felt like three hours ( _at least!_ ) was too long a time to spend without a kiss. Even if Connor wasn't as daring when it came to physical means of communicating his affection to Markus, and especially not in public, didn't mean that he was incapable of those. His hidden boldness had surprised Markus more than once.

The Ferris wheel was even more impressive up close. Markus had to tilt his head all the way back to see it in its entirety and he noted with some trepidation that the colored gondolas were open ones. Well, that was fine. It would still be pretty private when they'd be above everyone else. He shot a look in Connor's direction, who was studying the nearing gondola with a studious and grave intensity Markus loved to see on his face. He just really liked when Connor went all Mister Serious on him because he found Connor's darkened gaze, colder features and generally sharpened composure attractive. However this wasn't a place where he'd expected to see Connor switch in this mode and he couldn't help but suspect that something was afoot, without being able to put his finger on it. Connor's LED was blue so Markus reasoned it mustn't have been anything bad, but still-

"Are you coming?" suddenly said Connor, his brown eyes simultaneously inquiring and expectant. 

Markus snapped out of his thoughts and followed his boyfriend in the gondola which he hadn't even noticed had stopped in front of them. North, Josh and Simon were kind enough to let them take their own and the park-worker didn't ask them to fill it to maximum capacity since there weren't too many people waiting for their turn. Markus took a seat and Connor sat on his right, the park-worker buckled their seatbelt- which seemed ridiculously unsafe considering it was only one seatbelt for the both of them and only at waist level- and then the rocking gondola took off. They started gliding upwards and Josh waved at them with a little smile while North and Simon leaned forward to catch the next, and Markus waved back, but then he was quickly distracted by the pale hand that took hold of his and he turned back around to look at Connor. 

"This is what couples do, isn't it?" said Connor with a light smile playing on his lips. "Hold hands on this kind of ride."

Markus shifted his fingers around Connor's for a better grip and grinned at him. "Yeah. And maybe even more, don't you think?"

"Maybe," playfully answered Connor. "But you're going to have to wait a bit to check."

Markus was certain then that Connor had followed the exact same train of thought than him: wait to be out of anyone else's sight before giving free reign to their mutual needs. He gave Connor's hand a complicit little squeeze and then looked around. The Ferris Wheel's progress was slow since the park-worker had to fill three more gondolas before the ride actually started its first full revolution so they were only several feet above the ground, but it was still thrilling to think about how high up they'd be in a few minutes. Markus already knew what Detroit looked like from the Stratford Tower and the Ferris Wheel was nowhere close to a skyscraper's height but they were in a different part of the city and he was a bit curious to see the view from here, further away from the clusters of buildings and clogged up streets. For now, though, he was content just being able to sit next to Connor and enjoy their time together. Markus looked back at Connor and saw that the latter hadn't taken his eyes off of him. Markus' smile was softer this time and he leaned in, discreetly enough that it wouldn't be obvious to other people but just so that Connor would still feel the way their thighs pressed into each other's. Connor's brown gaze darted down and then back to Markus, the tone of his skin shifting ever so slightly across his cheekbones, and Markus greatly enjoyed that he could make Connor blush with this simple gesture even when the other android was so composed.

"I love you, you know," Markus declared with the ease of the earnest.

Connor ducked his head- he often couldn't handle looking him in the eye when Markus stated this kind of thing out aloud- and shyly mumbled: "...Yes, I know." 

He didn't say it back, but the way he reciprocated Markus' leaning in and the very light cyan tinge to his cheeks was enough for Markus to understand that Connor was definitely thinking it. The Ferris Wheel started moving again and this time it kept moving, and Markus settled in for the ride, happy for the feeling of slender fingers perfectly slotted in the spaces between his own and the weight of Connor against his side. The smaller attractions and food stands receded in the distance, slowly becoming just parts in the bigger map of the carnival, and then the carnival itself turning into one of the many sections constituting their surroundings. A slight sensation of vertigo started nagging at him from the back of his eyes and he shifted to uselessy adjust his position as if that would somehow make things more secure than they were. Connor's body followed this movement and his hand tightened slightly around Markus'. 

"I'm not going anywhere," Markus joked, thinking Connor must have wanted that kiss as much as he did to allow himself to act anywhere near clingy, but his amusement faltered when he saw that the smile Connor offered him in response seemed tense. It wasn't genuine, it didn't reach up to his eyes- or eye, rather, because Connor wasn't facing him. That was the smile Connor gave Markus when wanted to be having fun but couldn't, and he did this because he didn't want to worry him. 

"I know, Markus. I'm counting on that," Connor replied before Markus could ask if something was wrong. His voice was teasing, implying that he was still quite intent on the promised kiss, and it mirrored Markus' humorous tone ; maybe anyone other than Markus would've let themselves be fooled by the quick answer. The problem was that Markus knew Connor had a lot of issues he'd initially preferred to keep under wraps until Markus had uncovered them himself, either by chance or persistence, and he knew when Connor was hiding his unease. Consequently, since he couldn't think of a single thing that would explain his boyfriend's current behavior in the situation they were in, he deduced this was an instance of Connor trying to hide something Markus didn't yet know about.

Their ascension kept going and in the time it took for Markus to ascertain that the scenario they were in was quite possibly very different from the one he'd been going for by suggesting they get on the Ferris Wheel, they were almost at the top. Connor had averted his gaze when he'd noticed the way Markus was staring at him and he'd looked out the gondola, but it had only been for a furtive glance. Now it was stuck to the floor beneath their feet. Connor clearly didn't want to look outside, nor did he want to look at Markus. His jaw was set. Markus frowned a bit when he realized he couldn't and hadn't been able to see Connor's LED from his position.

He eventually opened his mouth to ask: "Connor, are you af-"

The Ferris Wheel ground to a halt and the gondola rocked. The movement was a bit sudden and Markus was surprised that the ride had stopped at all because the park-worker hadn't told them it would, but what really took him aback was the way his boyfriend's hand convulsed around his in a too-strong grip when everything swayed. The tension in Connor's body was suddenly much more apparent, like harsh lines across his shoulders and down his back. 

"Connor?" Markus lowered his free hand over Connor's unyielding grip. "Are you scared? Is it because we're so high up?"

"I'm fine," quickly said Connor, but his eyes were wide and still refusing to look at anything but the floor. 

"Can you look at me?"

Connor didn't move. "I can't."

"Why?"

"I can't."

Markus understood that it was probably because Connor didn't want to stare at anything but the ground beneath their feet if looking up meant there was a risk he'd see outside of their gondola. He leaned in closer so their foreheads would touch and lightly held Connor's chin. "You can look at me, sweetheart. You'll only see my face."

Connor tensed up even more but it turned out to be that he was just steeling himself to comply, because he finally tore his gaze away from the floor to quickly look into Markus' eyes. It was just as Markus had suspected: his LED was red and frantic.

"That's it," steadily said Markus. "You're okay."

Connor was silent, frozen in place, his grip still desperate around Markus' fingers. He must've understood it was pointless to try and pretend he wasn't affected by this because now terror was plain in his eyes.

"How long?" he asked in a subdued voice.

"I don't know," helplessly said Markus. "We'll get off as soon as we reach the bottom, I promise. Okay?"

"Okay," quickly answered Connor, and then almost in the same beat he added: "I'm sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for."

Connor wasn't really listening to him. His eyes were squeezed shut now and Markus could tell even when he was unable to read levels that Connor's stress was only climbing.

"What are you scared of exactly?"

"We're too high," murmured Connor. "If we fall..."

"We're not going to fall."

"But if we do-"

"We're safe, Connor. I'm right here, we're steady, see? We haven't moved in a while and nothing bad is happening."

Connor wordlessly nodded but didn't open his eyes again. His grip was crushing, holding onto Markus for dear life. The gondola was still swaying even thought it was to a lesser degree and Markus knew that had to be disorienting for Connor. 

"I'm going to try something, okay?"

Connor's other hand immediately flew up to grab his arm. "Wait, no-"

"I'm not pulling away," Markus immediately reassured him. "I'm going to hug you. Maybe you'll feel less in danger if I hold you like that. I might have to do it until we get off the ride, I know you don't really like it when we're in public but I don't see how else I can help you right now."

Connor looked a bit embarrassed to have reacted so strongly but he didn't let go in the slightest, and he tightly nodded. "...Okay." Public displays of affection was probably the last thing on his mind right now.

Markus lifted his left arm to wrap it around his boyfriend's shoulders and carefully pulled him closer, and Connor jolted at first but didn't fight it. Markus was cautious not to remove his hand from the other's grasp so that Connor could keep the same point of anchor. He'd closed his eyes again, and this time when they came closer he automatically buried his face in the crook of Markus' shoulder. Connor had never done this kind of thing anywhere other than their home before and Markus knew he had to very frightened right now to want to do it here.

"There you go," approved Markus.

"I'm sorry," Connor muttered again.

"It's okay."

They stayed suspended in the air for a few more minutes and Connor didn't relax a single second. When the wheel jerked back into action, his hands tightened and the arm that he'd slipped around Markus' back went taut, pulling them impossibly close. Markus probably would've enjoyed their proximity if Connor hadn't been so scared. He felt a bit guilty for allowing this to happen. Connor didn't let go for the whole other half of the revolution and only relented in his clinging when Markus called out to the park-worker to let them off because he realized people could see them now. He didn't let go of Markus' hand, however, and remained pressed up against his side even thought they weren't hugging anymore. Connor was still very tense. 

"What's wrong?" called North from the gondola above them. 

Markus turned around as he was helping Connor off- or rather trying to since Connor didn't let him pull him out of the gondola and preferred to ignore his outstretched hand in favor of getting out by his own means- and answered: "It's fine, you guys carry on without us! We'll join up once your ride's over."

"Are you okay, Connor?" asked Josh next to her.

Connor looked up at them and curtly nodded. "As Markus said, it's fine. Don't worry."

"Come on, let's go," Markus told him, and they stepped off the small platform together once Connor had thanked the park-worker. Markus heard Simon say something about checking on Connor later and he had little doubt that Connor had heard it as well.

They walked in silence for a bit until they reached one of the tables at the nearest food stand, and as Markus sat down he asked: "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm sorry," immediately said Connor. "I didn't mean for that to happen."

"I know, Connor, it's fine. I just want to know what that was all about. You never struck me as someone with a fear of heights."

"I think it's a pretty specific fear of heights," said Connor. "I only realized that I'd developed one while I was investigating up on Stratford Tower. Being in other high places after the incident never had the same effect on me despite the fact I've had to run across many rooftops, so I think it's only triggered at fairly elevated heights."

"The incident?" echoed Markus.

"I... I fell, once. Off a high building. From the roof," haltingly explained Connor. "It was a hostage negotiation which I didn't handle to the best of my abilities and the outcome was messy."

" _What?_ " exclaimed Markus, suddenly fully understanding two things in that moment. One, that Connor's weird behavior even before they'd gotten on the wheel had probably been him psyching himself up to get on the ride even though he knew he had this fear for very good reason, and two, that this was yet another traumatizing way Connor had died and probably kept only to himself until now. "Why didn't you say anything?! I wouldn't have suggested the Ferris Wheel if I'd known!"

Connor shrunk on himself, shoulders defensively hiking up to his ears. "I thought I'd be all right! I thought- I thought I'd be fine. It's been so long since I've had to investigate on a roof at the top of a building like that and I thought I would've gotten over it by now. And you were there, so I thought that even if I did get scared..." He paused, and his voice was quiet and ashamed when he continued: "I don't know what I thought. I'm sorry for ruining this. It was a good idea."

Markus reigned in his display of shock as best as he could when he realized it wasn't helping Connor feel better at all. So far he'd apologized four times in under ten minutes, which Markus could understand the reason for since Connor probably felt just as guilty as him for this fiasco ; but it still felt unjustified and it was definitely a sign of the more negative mindset Connor tended to slip into whenever past trauma made him act, by his terms, "irrational". "Irrational", as in seeking comfort he thought he didn't deserve to ask. Connor would apologize for the smallest of things, confusing his momentary guilt for the one he'd felt as the ex-deviant hunter for months, feeling at fault for anything that might've gone wrong in his life. 

It was a heavy burden to carry for the both of them but Markus had known what they'd both need to be prepared for as a couple. Just like Connor had declared himself ready to carry Markus through his self-hatred, fear of storms and doubt that he was good enough of a leader, Markus had decided he'd always be there to help Connor climb out of the dark pits of his mind whenever he stumbled into one.

Markus reached across the table to lower his hand on top of Connor's fidgeting fingers and said: "Okay, listen, you didn't ruin anything. This only means we won't be going on Ferris Wheels again and I can promise you it's not that big a deal."

"But it was supposed to be a nice experience and it wasn't because of the way I acted." Hesitation stopped him, and then Connor awkwardly mumbled: "...We were supposed to kiss and we didn't."

"Exactly, you didn't ruin anything because that's still the plan," Markus mischieviously said. Connor's gaze snapped up to his, uncertain but clearly interested, and Markus grinned at him. "You didn't think I'd give up that easily, did you? There are plenty of spots people won't see us in where we can make out."

Connor looked a bit amused by Markus' persistence, now. "Like what?"

Markus discreetly traced the side of Connor's hand with his thumb. "I think Josh had the right idea with the funhouse. We'll just let the others go ahead and then we'll find a nice little corner just for the two of us. How does that sound?"

Connor's finger brushed against Markus' wrist and he answered with a little smile: "I think that sounds nice."

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt by Nolfalvrell : " _At the top of a Ferris wheel, Markus discovers Connor has an enormous fear of heights._ "
> 
> Hey pumpkin! I couldn't resist jumping on this prompt when I saw it. The angst potential was too great and Fear of heights is a great whump trope I hadn't yet gotten to write for, so thank you Nolf for the prompt :)
> 
> Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!
> 
> * * *
> 
> Come by and say hi on [Tumblr](https://lost-tanuki.tumblr.com/post/184765301043/dbh-fics) (link to my DBH fic masterlist), and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/losttanuki)!
> 
> I also have a Discord server called the Pumpkin Patch server, you can pm me on Tumblr/Twitter to join. I'm looking forward to seeing you there!


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